1/9/14 Amiri

                                       "float flat magic in low changing   

                                       evenings. Shiver your hands

                                       in dance. Empty all of me for

                                       knowing, and will the danger   

                                       of identification..."

- Amiri Baraka "The New World"

 

may your words color the minds of a thousand 

blank stares.  may they rest inside keyholes and 

deadbolts, to rust and break. may your words

stick in craws, lodge themselves under sensitive

gumlines, and force careful extraction from any mouth.

may you write with a thousand hands, a thousand 

pens from a thousand schoolhouses caging frustration

and anger. may you speak with a thousand voices 

from rooftops and jail cells, from coffeeshops and 

podiums, from the muffled scream of triumph or 

hatred or fear or joy into the palm of a hand to hold 

for all time.

1/8/14

Miles and I have an ongoing feud regarding who can make the best dinosaur noises.  Usually this competition takes place in the car after dropping Isla off at school, because she can't abide by the noisiness of it all.  Today, Miles upped his game to a whole new level with some high pitched nasal screech that my vocal chords can't compete with.  In truth, my guttural growling roars sound pretty tame now - which makes the competitor in me furious.  I will be channeling my inner ultrasaurus bellow soon.  Just you wait, Miles. 


Speaking of dinosaurs, Isla's latest thrift store appropriation is nothing short of genius.  It must be seen to be appreciated. 

1/6/13

Isla and Miles were both saintly today.  I woke up to Miles nuzzling against my neck, saying "Daddy cuddle,"  Isla had been awake for an hour or so and already made herself cheerios, and washed the bowl.  She immediately grabbed Miles and played legos with him while I drank coffee and sat by the fire to regain my senses. 

When I asked what Isla wanted to do for the day, she suggested going to Ventura to go thrift store shopping.  I promptly decided that this was the best idea I'd ever heard and said I needed to change Miles, give him some yogurt for breakfast, and we'd head out.  While I did that, Isla MADE HER OWN LUNCH!!! I swear I'm not making this up.   Then, she got some water for miles and herself and we headed out. 

She found a Mother Goethel doll from "Tangled" for $.99, and bought some dinosaurs for Miles with her chore money too, then we went to the park, and played for a good hour or so and ate lunch.  On the way home, we all sang ridiculous versions of Christmas carols with invented lyrics.  One was about zombies, it was fabulous. 

At home, Miles fell asleep for his nap in less than 2 minutes, as Isla listened to Percy Jackson on cd in her room.  Then, we broke out the thrift store painting I bought so Isla could start her new series of awesome alterations to bad paintings.  Tegan brought dinner home on her way from work, and God Damn if this wasn't a great Monday!

1/5/14

Today I sat on a rock,
surrounded by oak and pepper trees
splayed like a errant hand
and watched a hawk
dip and turn into the brush,
silent as time. 

He returned in one motion,
claws clutching a stunned
squirrel - it's tail pinwheeling
against the backhand slap blue
of the sky. 

He made a meal of the rodent
on an oak branch above my head,
intestines spattering the rock
like heiroglyphs.

If I could read them, I think
they might say something
about temporality,

If I could read them
I might dissappear.

1/4/14

The new year brought a DJ gig at the Jester again - which last year added up to a handful of people in the place, since New Years was on a weekday... same thing happened again this year, although I did approach the situation with a different attitude.  Instead of being upset and annoyed at the situation, I just decided to have a little bit of fun with it, so the Wild Stallions mixed Diplo with Brittney Spears, Cee Lo and Ace of Base all night long.  On top of that, we got to go home early and still got paid, it's all good in Ojai. 

Miles has been on a tear as of late, tantrums average one every two hours, which is almost impossible to handle, but I decided to make a timeout jar today... since I'm approaching everything with a new attitude and all.  This thing is pretty rad.  It's a jar filled with water and glitter glue, which you shake up and wait for the glitter to swirl and settle - it's totally mesmerizing and hopefully soothing for toddler minds.  We'll see tomorrow.  Or in two hours, whichever tantrum takes hold. 

New year, new try.

1/2/14

I made myself another promise, to devote 30 minutes a day to writing, regardless of how it looks.  I've done this in the past, obviously the year of writing being the most successful, but I need to reset my routine to include something so necessary. 

My daughter Isla is 5.  This scares me, because I don't have a clear distinction between 4 and 5, or 3 and 4 for that matter - time is one of those things that makes absolutely no sense the older I get.  It does not seem to bother her, however, as she is coasted beautifully through her toddler and preschool years.  As of now she is completely obsessed with learning - Greek myths, how flying works, what the hell a sea anemone is good for... she needs to know.  I like to make up stories that have sort of true things in them, which makes for interesting conversations because she can smell my bologna from a mile away when I'm working on a half-truth.  It's fun.

Today was all about the beach.  We saw some tidepools and carefully walked around the anemones, hermit crabs and starfish.  We even found a dead skate - which smelled worse than my bologna.  I really like the word bologna.  When searching for sea creatures got old, we did what any self respecting Californian would do in the middle of winter:  we went swimming.  Or, I should say, Miles went swimming on accident, got sand stuck up his nose and in his ears, and then caterwauled all the way back up the 99 stairs (Isla counted) to the car.  Dad should have brought a towel.  I mean it was the beach.  Come on dad.

I am loving southern California in wintertime, though.  I kind of forgot what cold is.