Baby Crack

These are the things I have found to be irresistible to my baby, creating high pitched squealing, intense crying and whining when removed, and general symptoms exhibited by most crack fiends:

1) Puppies and Kitties

2) Target brand fruit snacks - holy shit, when these are busted out I'm like the king of the babies.

3) Jamba Juice - I have seen half of a small banana berry jamba juice last a good hour and a half.

4) This one disgusting doll at goodwill that has straggly, thinning blond hair, is naked on rollerblades, is made of hard plastic, about her size, and is supposed to be electronic, but all the wires have been pulled out and are hanging from a hole in her left leg. WTF?


5) Blueberries. Once she had purple poop for three days.