UBC (Ultimate Baby Championship) 100

Ladies and Gentlemen - tonight we have a great card for you all in the...uh... living room. The Island of Isla, the explosive pooper, miss Bop Bop herself takes on 3 adversaries in Gut Wrenching action. Watch on and be amazed at the skill, ferocity, and pure wrestling talent exhibited by this 2 foot terror!

Battle 1: Isla vs. Beru

The round started off with a surprise side roll by Beru, attempting to use Isla's lack of stability against her. This proved to be a mistake, however, as Isla quickly reversed the sloppy judo move and executed a perfect haunch-grab/tail twister. After this, the pin was just a few taps away. Isla won this match handily by means of submission in the first round.





Battle 2: Isla vs. Sophie

This looked to be a much more even match, as Sophie makes up for her lack of bipedalism with an intensity only found in Jack Russel-Pit Bull mixes. Even so, Isla was too quick at the start, and attempted a rear baby mount to begin the round.






Sophie then retaliated by spinning on the unwitting baby and nearly landing the dreaded "kiss of death" on her nose.



Isla quickly put an end to this threat with the collar-lock, a move she learned from her recent travels to a shaolin temple in Hunan, where she spent many hours training under a monk with no toes and a penchant for rootbeer swilling and buffoonery. But I digress... she quickly remembered her lessons - "brush the forehead of the beast with your palm, as the lotus brushes the morning air,"

"then crush the windpipe as the boa constrictor crushes rootbeer cans!" The old master's words rang in her head as she performed this next move. The fight went to a controversial decision in which the panel of judges (which consisted of a stuffed lamb and two pillows) declared Isla the winner by a score of 10 to 8. Many of the spectators involved, including Charlie, the other dog, believed that the match was won at this point, however - due to the utter defeat showing in Sophie's eyes.

Battle 3: Isla vs. Daddy

This match was a travesty, and a disgrace to the UBC organization as a whole. Somehow Isla convinced Sophie to tag team against the favored combatant in the first round and this match was over before it even started - with Isla pinning Daddy, then adding insult to injury by laughing at him as he writhed in agony...or just kind of giggled. Results: Isla 3, Everybody else 0.