Year of writing 306. Friday .

11/2/12

To get back to some stay at home dad lessons - which I haven't done in a while - here's a list of stuff I need to remember for next time:

1.  Kids are only as patient as you are.  This means with zero sleep, you can expect madness from your little ones.  When you act a fool, there's no inverse correlation to how good your kids will be. That's just duh.

2.  Dress nicely.  For serious, I put on a shirt and tie this morning for the first time since stopping work, and people treated me so much better.  Even the stuck up mom who wrinkles her nose when I say good morning stopped and cooed over Miles in the parking lot this morning.  What the hell that is, I don't know, but  I'm milking it.

3.  If there is more than 36 hours between poops, don't over worry and take your kid to the emergency room, however be prepared for sheer pandemonium once that baby gets uncorked.  I believe this last one literally lifted Miles up off the floor when it was unleashed into his diaper.

4.  Isla is a univore.  She will eat only one thing.  It used to be pasta, now it's broccoli - go figure.

5.  The switch witch (invented to trade out kids' candy for a present of some kind left on the porch) is the best holiday gift character ever.  Isla had her candy for 2 days before she was itching to trade it in.  I get candy, she gets a toy.  Everybody wins.