Year of Writing 20

Today I took my daughter to go see "Beauty and the Beast" in 3D at the theater. Besides the fact that I already knew she hated 3D glasses, and would watch the entire thing in all of its blurry glory, I gave in to her desire - even though I made a pretty strong case for Tintin. I actually really like "Beauty and the Beast," it has a super comedic villain, a smart bookish heroine, hella gothic architecture, and a motherflippin' BEAST. Anyway, at the movies my child is not one to hide her emotions: when she's excited, she claps. When she's sad, she sobs. When she's confused, she asks. AND, when she's scared, she shrieks. So, when the wolves begin to attack Belle, naturally Isla shouts and covers her eyes. Immediately the SINGLE MAN AT "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST" behind me groans. Then, as Beast gets mauled by the savage creatures, Isla protests loudly "No! Not the Beast!" At which point said SINGLE MAN AT "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST" taps me on the shoulder to say: "hey, do you think you could get her to keep it down." I turn, remove my 3D specs and say "are you fucking serious? She's 3." Not much of a response, so back to the movie. Now - fast forward to the climax. Gaston is hunting the Beast through the castle. He sits, forlorn and heartbroken staring at his withered rose. Gaston raises his bow to shoot, Isla WAILS. It wasn't a long wail, just a pained "Oh!" and jumps in my lap, hands covering her eyes. Now, Mr. SINGLE MAN AT "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST" raises his hands in disgust and shouts to the movie theater - "This is ridiculous! How am I supposed to watch a movie like this?" Now, my fist was actually balled up. I've never hit a man in anger, but this could have been the time. Luckily, the large German woman sitting to his left grabbed him by the collar and said "You. Shut. The. Hell. Up." very, very slowly and with great enunciation. That killed that. She's totally my hero. As for Isla, I hope she guffaws at every lame joke, jumps at every creak of a door, and sobs for every heartbreak on screen for the rest of her beautiful life.