6/8/12
I can't believe it's Friday again - it has now been a month since I started the best job in the world, AKA taking care of my own kids, AKA swagged out daddy day care. Here are my learnings, struggles, and rants from week four of this journey.
1. You gotta hustle to get your kid some friends - don't just sit back and think it's going to happen. When your child starts to play with some other kid, go! I don't care if the mom looks like Roseanne Barr or if the dad wears linen and smells like patchouli. You get out there and talk, get a number, make a playdate. If you don't, your four-year-old will start giving you murderous looks when she thinks you're not looking.
2. Anytime anybody invites you anywhere when you have kids, go. It is rare, and will likely never happen again.
3. You are not cool for not having a diaper bag, you are idiotic to the point of lunacy. I will never carry a poopy baby, a bloody knee'd child, two burritos and a horchata back from the park again. I will be prepared. Dammit.
4. Switch arms with the baby, unless you want to look like one half of Popeye.
5. Don't think: "I'll just feed the baby when we get back from the store." It will be the absolute worst store visit you will ever have. You will most likely never return to that store again, at least until your children are no longer recognizable.
6. When your daughter wants to stop and chase a frog, you better stop. I don't care if your cell is blowing up and you're 2 hours late for work. If you don't stop, you're an asshole - and I will swoop in from behind on your frog and let my daughter catch the mofo.
7. Babies will eat ground up anything. soggy cheerios, yogurt, a piece of steak, and a banana - delish.
8. 4 year olds will eat nothing but the same three dishes, apparently until they turn 50.
9. Sidewalk chalk and a large tiled patio = HELLA FUN!
10. She might be really cute, and love to play with Miles, but she's not a licensed caregiver, so don't try and leave her with him while you run out to the car.
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