Saturday, February 4, 2012

Year of writing 35 On being an emo kid

2/4/12


I came across this song today after a long, long time.


I am a huge fan of the moment when a song transports you bodily to a place you haven't thought of in years. For me, this song brought me to my backyard in Ojai, California, at 14 years old. I had a Sony Walkman as a kid, with those really, really uncomfortable headphones that made your ears hurt if you listened for too long, but you still listened, because that's what you do.This was the actual walkman I owned - I loved the "MEGA BASS" although it was borderline pointless, since the headphones were so crappy that any "bass" sounded like the static on channel 72.

So I was in my backyard, sitting on a homemade swing hanging from the branch of a tree, listening to the above Nine Inch Nails song on repeat. Now here's where it gets ridiculous. You might think that I had just been broken up with, or maybe just spurned by a girl. Or maybe I was in one of those silent teenage rages because my mom had told me to clean my room, or some other INCREDIBLY AWFUL task. But no. I was literally swinging on that swing, emo-fantasizing. I was making up a girl, not in any normal, healthy, weird science adolescent boy way, however. My fantasy was all about the breakup. Honestly - I was fantasizing about the breakup FROM A GIRL WHO DIDN'T EXIST. I can even recall the tear that I forced out of my eye socket to give the fantasy personal credibility.

OK, seriously, what was wrong with me? What kind of kid does that? Thanks a lot Trent Reznor.

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